Respect, a simple concept that is taught in elementary school with The Golden Rule: Treat others as you, yourself, would like to be treated. One would think that high school students in need of lessons on respect would ashamedly scramble to show their true mature capabilities. Instead, like manners being taught to indolent toddlers, any mention of this year’s respect initiative seems to draw snickers and negative comments from people. The school gave us three chances to warm up to the idea of changing our environment for the better- the in-class article session, the fact-based acting confessions, the Greater Good Science Center presentation- yet, for some students, the concept of respect seems to go in one ear, and right out the other.
I understand why the first presentation might not have hit home so well, for though it demonstrated the ugliness of disrespectful, crude people, there was a lack of relevance to it. We saw the sexualized T-shirt of some fraternity at a distant university, read about a politician’s lack of political correctness, and talked about an athlete’s racist blunder, but we never got an example relevant to Piedmont. Even so, I expected to see increased thoughtfulness in the student body, if only for the short period of lunch that followed. There was no such luck, for instead I heard several people around the quad joking about the hilarity of the behaviors that they were told less than an hour ago to condemn as grotesque.
On the other hand, hearing true stories told by Piedmont students about our very own Piedmont students was as close to personal as a high school assembly can get. Walking out of the theater, several people around me were chattering about how they were incredibly touched by “the story with the girl…”, “the one with the boyfriend…”, “the story where the girl got raped.” As I was applauding the school in my head, thinking “finally, they got across to everyone,” I heard a boy telling his friend how much of a waste of time that was. Yes, of course, it’s impossible to hit everyone with an idea, but how come they can’t at least pretend to be impressed, at least for a moment, at least out of respect? “The story where the girl got raped” could be about the girl standing next to you, silently listening to you undermining her trauma.
The final assembly, where Dacher Keltner shared his knowledge on the science of happiness seemed to get the most response out of students. Maybe it was the fact that they couldn’t criticize proven statistics and research, or because Keltner was a new face to them ( strangers ironically end up getting more respect than those that we are comfortable with), or maybe because the assembly was set up in a way that merely informed rather than tried to teach, but students, it seemed, actually enjoyed the last assembly. Except for the embarrassing irony of some students misbehaving during the assembly itself, there was a positive public reaction. I heard multiple people talking about things they could do to be nicer to others; things they wish they already did. I don’t think the post-assembly honeymoon phase of kindness completely endured the long-standing social dynamic of Piedmont, but it at least provoked some productive thoughts rather than mockery.
Thankfully, our school made a brilliant move by saying “instead of teaching how to be kind, let’s actually do something kind!” They say that actions speak louder than words, and the Thank You cards that we wrote to our peers and our teachers definitely spoke louder to the student body than any of the previous three respect programs put together. Every person around me was ardently deliberating over whom to praise and how to make it sound meaningful. People did not take it lightly, instead truly putting themselves into the process.
I can’t say why people feel as if the right time to make malicious jokes is right after they are told not to, but I think it has something to do with shame. People seem to get embarrassed by showing how they really feel, especially in a small place like Piedmont. Once one person here knows something, everyone knows it, and not everybody wants to have their inner feelings and opinions exposed in such a small town. But, that fear of exposure is exactly what is hindering social change- in Piedmont, in the world. If everyone here took the school’s respect initiative and really tried to understand it and implement it into their personal life, we, together, could really change Piedmont into a much more welcoming place. It’s not too late.
